Illinois vs. tOSU

Illinois vs. tOSU
Tonight @ 8 p.m. on ESPN+

They stand for peace, justice, and the fast-break. This year's Fighting Illini remind me more of the X-Men or the Justice League than your run of the mill #1 ranked college b-ball powerhouse. Bruce Weber is the bald guy in a wheel chair and mastermind behind the Illini's scorching start. Heck w/nicknames like The Preacher (Roger Powell), The Human Fast Break (Dee Brown), and Chainsaw (Nick Smith) they damn well should be on the cover of a comic book. Even our home court fits the bill. Assembly Hall looks like a space ship from the planet Titan and serves as an appropriate lair for this squad of super heroes.

The New Years' Eve Episode of The Fighting Illini showed our heroes trouncing THUG-ins and Co. 67-45. During tonight's game, the Illini will move from blue-collar crime to white-collar crime...think more Kenneth Lay and Martha Stewart than your neighborhood dope dealer.

During the summer former Head Coach Jim O'Brien was fired for giving $6000 to a tOSU recruit, Aleksander Radejovic. Yes, the Buckeye hoops program is dirty (they are banned from postseason play in 2005), but the football team makes me want to take a shower whenever I read about them. Last season football sensation Maurice Clarrett alleged that boosters arranged for him to receive passing grades, cash, loaner cars, and whatever else he wanted. This season the Muckeyes had to suspend quarterback Troy Smith for accepting cash gifts from a booster.
tOSU must pay!!!...Illini style.

Despite being Big10 doormats last year, ex-Xavier Coach Thad Matta has led his team to an 11-2 record w/impressive wins over Robert Morris and Morehead State (sarcasm). Their best player is big man Terrance Dials (6'9" 255lbs.), who is averaging 16 pts, 9 boards, and 3 cheeseburgers a game. Former McDonald's All-American Ivan Harris and Clemson transfer Tony Stockman could pose a threat tonight...but I doubt it.

Deron Williams seems to be a bit out of sync so far this season. His mid-range game was on the $$$ Friday, and I expect his success to continue against tOSU.
Illinois - 72
Evil - 59

Sincerely,
Clark Kent