Illinois vs. Mizzery

The Braggin’ Rights Classis
Illinois vs. Missouri
Joe’s at 7 p.m.
I’m in town, and I expect to see you all for hoops, beer, and pizza.
Call me (773-718-0023) or shoot me an email if you’ll be there.

It’s Genetic

Most of you who know me or have been reading my column for the past few years, would admit that I am a pretty eccentric Illini fan. It’s not because I was dropped on my head as a baby during the 1983 Rose Bowl game, or because I drank too much orange kool aid as a kid, or because my fondest memories of the 80s was Nick Andersen’s game winning shot over Indiana during the 1989 Final Four Season. The reason I am such an eccentric Illini fan is because I come from a long line of equally eccentric Illini fans.

A few weeks ago, my parents volunteered to drive me to the airport at 6 a.m. so that I could catch an early flight and make the Illini game in Little Rock, Arkansas (1 p.m. tip-off). While I was brushing my teeth, I hear “Bum bum bummmmm, bumbumbumbumm bumbum”…my mom was singing the Chief’s fight song (Three-in-One). I poke my head out the door and join in, “Bum bum bummmmm, bumbumbumbumm bumbum”. All of a sudden Marlene and I start dueling chief dances down the hall at 5:30 a.m. My dad looked at us like we were crazy. We are.

My Uncle, fondly known to his college friends as Goose, is yet another example of my families Illini looniness. About 13 years ago. I was rummaging through the fridge at his Chicago apartment, when I came across a Miller Lite can with an Illini football schedule on it. Goose’s eyes glazed over and he said, “I got that when the Illini were in the Rose Bowl in 1983. I am not going to drink it until they go to the Rose Bowl again.” I was 12 at the time, and did not know about skunky beer, but I did know that there was something not quite right about my Uncle’s fixation on Illini sports.

My great Uncle Max was a freshman during Red Grange’s last season at Illinois. “Red was a pimp,” he told me. Max probably enjoyed Illinois a little too much because he didn’t make it past his first year. My other Great Uncle, Sander, accepted a basketball scholarship to the University of Iowa, but he soon came to his senses and quit after his first season.

That’s 75 years of Illini fandom in the Fabian/Grossmark/Nett family lineage. We’re still going strong.

The Braggin’ Rights Classic

Mizzery fans are caught in a laughable catch 22.

Losing to Illinois would suck.
Beating Illinois would suck…Kansas would be ranked #1.

A slow start (6-4) and restrictions from the Ricky Clemons cheating scandal have many Mizzery fans calling for Head Coach Quin Snyder’s (ex-Dukie) job. Mizzery lost most of its firepower from last year when Ricky Paulding and Arthur Johnson graduated. Jason Conley (VMI transfer, 10.9 ppg) and Linas Kleiza (6’8”) have tried to fill the void, but Mizzery was never any good when they had talented players – so why would they be any good when they don’t?

Illinois

After seeing 4 games in 8 days before finals, is anyone else going thru Illini Hoops withdrawal? Each Illini starter hit double figures Sunday in an untelevised game against Valpo. Dee Brown lives for big games on national television, so I think he’ll be running around Mizzery like the road-runner on speed.

With half the stadium dressed in Orange/Blue and the other half dressed in Gold/Black, the border war is always intense. The game takes place every year in St. Louis’ at the Savvis Center, and is probably the most under-rated rivalry in sports. Those bastards attacked the Chief during the 2001 meeting. Oddly enough, Mizzery has not won since…I expect that streak to continue.

Illinois – 78
Mizzery – 69

Sincerely,

Dee Brown’s Left Hand