Illinois vs. Mizzery

The Braggin’ Rights Classis
Illinois vs. Missouri
Joe’s at 7 p.m.
I’m in town, and I expect to see you all for hoops, beer, and pizza.
Call me (773-718-0023) or shoot me an email if you’ll be there.

It’s Genetic

Most of you who know me or have been reading my column for the past few years, would admit that I am a pretty eccentric Illini fan. It’s not because I was dropped on my head as a baby during the 1983 Rose Bowl game, or because I drank too much orange kool aid as a kid, or because my fondest memories of the 80s was Nick Andersen’s game winning shot over Indiana during the 1989 Final Four Season. The reason I am such an eccentric Illini fan is because I come from a long line of equally eccentric Illini fans.

A few weeks ago, my parents volunteered to drive me to the airport at 6 a.m. so that I could catch an early flight and make the Illini game in Little Rock, Arkansas (1 p.m. tip-off). While I was brushing my teeth, I hear “Bum bum bummmmm, bumbumbumbumm bumbum”…my mom was singing the Chief’s fight song (Three-in-One). I poke my head out the door and join in, “Bum bum bummmmm, bumbumbumbumm bumbum”. All of a sudden Marlene and I start dueling chief dances down the hall at 5:30 a.m. My dad looked at us like we were crazy. We are.

My Uncle, fondly known to his college friends as Goose, is yet another example of my families Illini looniness. About 13 years ago. I was rummaging through the fridge at his Chicago apartment, when I came across a Miller Lite can with an Illini football schedule on it. Goose’s eyes glazed over and he said, “I got that when the Illini were in the Rose Bowl in 1983. I am not going to drink it until they go to the Rose Bowl again.” I was 12 at the time, and did not know about skunky beer, but I did know that there was something not quite right about my Uncle’s fixation on Illini sports.

My great Uncle Max was a freshman during Red Grange’s last season at Illinois. “Red was a pimp,” he told me. Max probably enjoyed Illinois a little too much because he didn’t make it past his first year. My other Great Uncle, Sander, accepted a basketball scholarship to the University of Iowa, but he soon came to his senses and quit after his first season.

That’s 75 years of Illini fandom in the Fabian/Grossmark/Nett family lineage. We’re still going strong.

The Braggin’ Rights Classic

Mizzery fans are caught in a laughable catch 22.

Losing to Illinois would suck.
Beating Illinois would suck…Kansas would be ranked #1.

A slow start (6-4) and restrictions from the Ricky Clemons cheating scandal have many Mizzery fans calling for Head Coach Quin Snyder’s (ex-Dukie) job. Mizzery lost most of its firepower from last year when Ricky Paulding and Arthur Johnson graduated. Jason Conley (VMI transfer, 10.9 ppg) and Linas Kleiza (6’8”) have tried to fill the void, but Mizzery was never any good when they had talented players – so why would they be any good when they don’t?

Illinois

After seeing 4 games in 8 days before finals, is anyone else going thru Illini Hoops withdrawal? Each Illini starter hit double figures Sunday in an untelevised game against Valpo. Dee Brown lives for big games on national television, so I think he’ll be running around Mizzery like the road-runner on speed.

With half the stadium dressed in Orange/Blue and the other half dressed in Gold/Black, the border war is always intense. The game takes place every year in St. Louis’ at the Savvis Center, and is probably the most under-rated rivalry in sports. Those bastards attacked the Chief during the 2001 meeting. Oddly enough, Mizzery has not won since…I expect that streak to continue.

Illinois – 78
Mizzery – 69

Sincerely,

Dee Brown’s Left Hand

Illinois vs. Wake Forest

The Illini Game Preview
***Accept No Imitations***

Dear Reader-

My apologies for not sending out an Illini Game Preview (IGP) for the first three regular season games. I was interviewing for the Illini Football Vacancy.

Mike

Illini vs. Wake Forest
6 p.m. on ESPN

Outlook
If the Illini backcourt is #1 in the country, then Wake Forest's backcourt is #1A. Everyone and their mother knows the Chris Paul story: lightning quick point guard, most votes of any player on this years Pre-Season All-American Team, yadda yadda yadda. Playing beside him is the Demon Deacon's stellar shooting guard Justin Gray, who played in Paul's shadow last season, much the way Deron Williams played second fiddle to Dee Brown during his freshman year. Gray is proving that he too deserves a share of the hype as he earned ACC Player of the Week honors with 21 pts, 5 stitches (eye injury) against Providence and a 21 pt performance against #17 Arizona.

I am curious to see how the Illini will match up against Wake. Deron Williams and Luther Head are both better defenders than Dee, but how exciting would it be to watch Dee and Chris Paul chase each other around for 40 minutes like a pair of 8 year olds on Jolt Cola and Pixie Sticks? Justin Gray is most dangerous coming off screens playing much the way Kirk Penney did for Badgers a few seasons ago. I would love to see Dee darting around picks denying Gray a good look, and Luther Head harassing Paul with his long reach and pressure defense. Whichever backcourt plays better will win this game.

I give a slight edge to the Illini because of Luther Head (OK, you're right, I would give the edge to Illinois if they were playing the Miami Heat, but hear me out). After Spitzer and I were kicked out of the 2002 Homecoming Football Game for drinking beers (it's impossible to watch Illinois football sober…I've tried.) We walked…ok stumbled...over to Assembly Hall to watch the Orange and Blue Hoops Scrimmage. Dee, Deron, and Co. were freshman, but we were struck by how dominant Luther Head looked. He was plagued by injury during 2002-2003, and last year he was plagued by the "five-oh"…that's street slang for the cops (an "alleged" burglary and an "alleged" suspended license for speeding tickets). This year body, mind, and police record are clear. Luther is ready to graduate w/a on top! See Oakland 22 pts 9 assists, see Gonzaga 20 pts 9 assists.

Throwbacks
Bruce Weber's squad was planning on playing in throwback uniforms worn by the 1989 Flying Illini, but the tailors at Nike sent shorts more suited for Shaq Diesel than Nick Smith. "They were too big - I never thought I'd see that - but the guys couldn't even keep them up," commented Weber. Nike will try again for the January 29th game against Minnesota. The fifth annual Paint the Hall Orange Game is tonight, so wear some shades when you turn on the game because you might be blinded by the orange.

Prediction
Wake is battle tested this year, and the Illini are not. Expect a huge game from Luther Head, but my key performers are the Illini Fans. Home court advantage will make the difference in this ACC-Big10 match up.

Illinois - 81
Wake Forest - 77


Sincerely,

Ron Zook